Tuesday, 11 November 2008

The Huntress

The Credit Crunch has of course knocked everyone for Six including the City Slickers. I am a resourceful working Girl and have been on the look out for bargains as many of the High Street Stores have started their January Sales early.

While I am single I am sadly still looking for Mr Right and I am yet to find him. As many of us Girls know the new Metro Sexual man is not up to much and Mr Perfect is a scare commodity. All blokes of course want to ***** us. Unfortunately as we all work long hours I am reluctant to give up the favourable Single Life to share with someone else. At the end of the day all I want to do is a hot bath and shower, relaxing rub down and chill out with some nice music. Then of course Hit the sack for a long ZZ.

The Great modern dilemma us Girls is there an Honest bloke out there, who is not two timing his pretty wife or the local Office Top Totty. I suppose we cannot have it all. My Biological clock is ticking and I can feel at times quite broody and jealous of those women who have the domestic Bliss. I think you should be supicious of any woman who claims to have it all. Children, High Powered Career and a nice man in the sack to bring you tea on a Saturday morning.

I also hate those Office Super Bitches that pretend that they are all work and No Play. They have of course lovely manicured nails, but really will give you nasty scratch if you are not careful. They believe that the only way to get on is to be more masculine then the men and that they are super hard. You can always spot them a mile off as they donot wear perfume and never us Girly nail polish. They are really scary if you happen to look them in the eye in a Stepford Wife sort of way. These are the DCI Tennison Ball Buster women who look hard and will break a mans balls and are hard core ultra Feminists. They never wear skirts and will always wear uphemistically the Power Trouser Suit.

The Second Type of Woman is the Office Barbie Doll and potential Man Eater. They are of course impossibly beautiful and usually Blonde. Sophie one of my friends belongs to this curious breed. Sophie always knows how to please a man and wears an impossibly beautiful outfit and Skirt. She had at one time a man in accounts on the Go as well as her current boyfriend. She claimed he was only a one night stand but was obviously trying to sleep her way to the top of the Office.

The Third is the House Wife. She has a hungry brood to feed and has a hard time trying to please her husband, look after the Kids and pay the Bills. I always feel sorry for this sort as they have hard time trying to get by but of course on the other I admire their Selflessness in a mother Theresa sort of way.

The Fourth is the Librarian who is a Greying Middle aged Spinster and is starting to loose her looks and appeal. These are fantastically intelligent and always have two or three Jackie Collins novels on the go. They are the first to pipe up in the Office meeting when everyone is present at the Post Coital Monday morning meeting after a fantastic heady weekend where you wwer dancing at three am with the tall dark handsome man who is a banker at a London Club. Of course on Monday you pay the price with a vengeance with a Hangover and bleary eyes not a good look.

Your dimwitted boss who of course some how always look impossibly well turned out and enthusiatic says,' Is there anyone here who wants to take the Minutes'. I never can understand why Males and most of the Suited and Booted Bosses are always so cheerful on Monday. They are truly undead in that they donot have a Life and come accross as supiciously perfect.

Give me my Monday Morning hangover and two Asprins and black Coffee anyday of the week. To the life of an autotonom. We are all machines and to use Thomas Hobbes phrase, ' Life in the State of nature is always nasty, brutish and Short'. Therefore for me I am always will be a 3 Am Girl who while has a load of shortcomings is up there on a mans Top Totty list.

I like to think of myself as the fourth kind the Huntress or Tigress. I am a combination of all of the above. I am of course single and donot have the security of the House Wife type. All though I would love to have what they have. Us Huntresses are always clever and are on the prowl of course for men. I too can be at times a Blonde Barbie. I will never be a DC Tennison as they are really men in drag and have nothing feminine about them. Of course when I reach the age of fifty I will probably turn into a Librarian.

I am of course hoping to turn into a Mrs Robinson type figure, Glamouress and with the use of Cosmetic Surgery hopefully will have found security with a rich young Cambridge Graduate.
I course want to marry and maybe have one kids and a lovely house and a man in the sack to bring me toast and a cup tea on Saturday.

Sarah my best friend gave me a call on her mobile and invited me to the Local Amnesty Evening. I selected a beautiful black dress and was invited to drinks and the fund raising Charity Ball. I met this nice man who talked alot about human rights and got me thinking that I should do something to improve the lot of humankind. He was handsome but incredibily dull, and I would have ideally not wrong back after he gave me his number. What is a Girl to do in that he was a milkTray man but dull. So I guess my search for Mr Right continues.

I did my bit and wrote a letter to the Indonesian Embassy in London to complain about Human Rights and to stop the Death Penalty. So the evening wasnot a total waste afterall. I suppose I did learn something from the Milk Tray man from Amnesty.